I parent alone now

The anchor weight of
of each fragile floating tear
drags me beyond the distance line
into murky depths
of sleepless night guilt
alone.

Even the buoyancy of joy
bends within me
a pressure differential
between what is held inside
and the external landscapes
of the word “family”

There is no us
it has sunk beneath
the deep
Litter too far fallen
under the pressure of our past
to ever be safely recovered

I don’t miss you
I miss the decompression
of a partner
the equilibrium of ear upon word
of a shared knowing
that breathes
with equal force
past, present and future
all balanced on the thin edge
of together.

Moment pass
dissolve like bubbles
of air into skin and bone
I must keep them all
written on the fragile shoreline
between memory and time.

Singular I am a guardian
of all these passages
I worry that details
will slip from my hands
droplets flowing back into
a nameless ocean
of solitude

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