The darkest night has past, the sun reborn in the indigo sky. As much as I am drawn to the light, there is a feeling that comes in the darkness of winter that is so wise and deep. The drifts of snow sit so peacefully on the slumbering land. No other time of the year do we get indigo twilight purple-blue upon the bare trees, and the stars so crisply hung in the sky. Do I have a favorite season? I think not, as I anticipate each one eagerly, with bated breath for all the beauty they contain.

And so I find my thoughts filled with wintery musings, and snowy notes.

Snow is falling
Darkness falling
Winter's calling tonight

I have had that in my head for weeks now...of course with notes. I hear it over and over, and it draws me to a place where I feel longing. For what I am not always sure, but the longing is there. I hear lyrics that perhaps have no song yet, but are there still. Missing seems to be the theme of them. "I miss the way my name sounds on your voice, I miss the shape of you in my days", these are the words that come unbidden when the darkness is around me and the music is an unconscious river flowing beneath and all around me. And more...

As her sighs drift across the plains
White tears to hide my pain
She says that spring comes again

I was stuck for so long on the first few lines because what the music wanted to be and what I wanted it to be were two very different things. I wanted something peaceful, the magical introspective quality of winter, and the music wanted something very very different. In the end you always surrender to the music, it is water to the boulder, wind to the rock, wearing down all resistence. It is what it is and at times I am but the vessel. Filled to the brim.

Longing, yes that is the word that is in my mind these days. Why? I am not entirely sure.



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