The first crocus, today after looking for weeks I saw the first fuzzy crocus, the gentle purple a shock against the tan grasses. Oh, what a balm to my soul to see that small blush of color in a world of grey and brown. It was exactly what I needed after spending quite a lot of time in introspection over the last few days. There was a stillness within the halls of my mind this weekend, quietude that felt thick with it's own existence. As spring looms ahead, I just want to shed all these layers of protection. Let all that I held around me, drop away and stand naked in the soul. I feel as if a lot has changed in the last few years. Changed...not so much change, but evolved. But that evolution is a process of discarding that which does not fit. I want to shed all that doesn't fit, rifle through my closets, through my house, through my spirit and just give away all that no longer fits with the essence of me.

The EP has become an odyssey, a difficult birthing, that is to be sure. But the first one is always the hardest, as you get yourself in WAY over your head, only to learn by doing. Of course I did have a CD before, but nothing in that was mine. Not my music, not my arrangements, not really involved in the art or the mastering or the duplication. I much prefer the difficult learning curve, but the satisfaction of actually having a hand in the creation of this. I keep saying I am not going to say that.

Out of the stillness, I am creating anew. Shocking myself with songs I never would have thought possible a year or two ago. Where does it all lead? Who knows. But I do know this, as I evolve, as I discard the reminents of my past self, the music becomes more intense, more introspective, more deeply emotional within me. Like ribbons dyed from the earth and released to the air, I feel the words, the notes, fluttering within me.

Ahhh, the sun just came out, shimmering through the clouds. I sat outside for a good amount of time today, and just felt the wind teasing me. I went to each and every tree in my yard, touched the new growth, connected. The oak, so small, the poplar strong, the willow touching the sky. Aspens upon aspens, and the joyful Russian Olive, the protective elm. I have over 30 trees in my yard, but I needed to see each of them, to feel the sap rising within, and know that spring is indeed here. The trees, they carry my memories so deep within. Each one placed in the earth by my hands. Planting trees is a joy beyond all other joys. It is a celebration.

Soon (there is that word ago)...I will quantify that...within the next 3 weeks, I will be putting up some pictures of my new merch. MERCH! They are gorgeous, ceramic pendants on silk ribbons. They speak to me of the earth warmed by the sun, and the wind rippling on water. very elemental. Soon....



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